The best bad week
I finished up with my 4th round of chemo over a week ago and I’ve been too scared to post until now. The week after chemo is always the worst - that’s when all of the side effects kick in and with each round, that’s when I’ve had trips to Urgent Care or the ER. So I was certainly hoping this round would be drama free, but of course I was doubtful given my history. I thought the second I post about feeling okay, that would be when I would spike a fever and have to rush to the hospital - but here we are on Saturday night with no major issues. I can’t say I feel great, but feeling okay is good enough for me.
My last day of chemo (Friday 9/25), we wanted to celebrate completing another round, so my mom made reservations for us to have dinner on Balboa Island where we grew up. It was also Heather and Owen’s last night here before driving back up to San Francisco (Thanks Heathy for making the trip down again and driving me back and forth to the hospital every day and always picking me up with pumpkin spiced Starbucks in hand). Dinner was awesome! Then after, we naturally needed to walk to Dad’s and get frozen bananas and Balboa bars. We even got to meet up with my friend Allison since she lives on the island. I love this lady and it was so great to catch up with her even if just for a few minutes. It was a warm night and felt so good to be disconnected from the bag and enjoy a meal out and feel a little normal. I always feel pretty good the night that chemo ends - probably the exhilaration of getting released and knowing I have 16 days until the next round - it always warrants a reason to celebrate.
The first few days after chemo ends are terrible - but at least I know what to expect now. During those days, it feels like I’ve been hit by a bus and all of the bones in my neck and chest are broken. It’s a weird feeling and not really like anything I can compare it to, but it’s kind of like when you have the flu and even a hug is painful. It hurts to touch my neck or move my head or move much at all - so much of the first few days is a lot of sleeping - but at least I can do that back in my bed! Then after that feeling goes away I’m left just feeling really tired and achy for the rest of the week. Update on the neuropathy - I feel like it’s getting a little better. It hasn’t spread to my toes, still just the fingertips - but it really doesn’t feel as bad as it did a few weeks ago. New little side effects - constant watery eyes. This apparently is a normal chemo thing too, but I hadn’t experienced it till now. Like I’m always crying and it makes my vision a little blurry - oh well, not that bad. This is also a dangerous time since I know during that week after chemo my white blood count will plummet to near zero - all the more reason to stay in and rest.
I have continued my daily regimen of supplements that was suggested to me after the last round to help with the side effects and I really think they’re helping. I haven’t had the same digestive issues this time around so I’m going to stick with it until after I’m all done with treatment. For anyone curious, I’m adding the following supplements to juice or a smoothie every day: Psyllium Husk powder, Bentonite liquid, and I-Glutamine powder. I’ve definitely noticed a difference!
I’ve had labs done twice this week and I’ve managed to keep my potassium up. I have been drinking a lot of these drinks that have a high amount of potassium (equivalent to about 2 avocados) - BodyArmor Superdrinks. They’ve been a huge help in keeping my levels up! Unfortunately I haven’t been as lucky with my white blood count. Wednesday it had dropped to 1.5 (that’s x1000 per ml - normal range it 4-11), and by Friday it had dropped to 1. I’m surprised it’s so low because I don’t feel that bad. I’ve been getting the daily injections by my awesome mom/nurse. She’s really gotten the hang of it and doesn’t leave any bruises. There was one night where I had to give myself the shot which still makes me nervous. Harrison likes to hold my hand and distract me so they don’t hurt. It seems funny to think how scared of needles I used to be. I still don’t love them and I always have to look the other way when I’m getting blood drawn, but needles are now very much a part of my daily life and I’ve gotten used to them for sure - but I definitely prefer for my mom to be the one to give me the shots.
I think now that the bad week is over, I can safely say that this really was the best of the bad weeks. No major side effects and no unexpected trips to the hospital. Is it possible that I’ve finally figured this chemo thing out? I hope so. And the realization that I only have 2 more rounds is pretty great too - I can do this 2 more times! Plus I have a whole week still until I start round 5. Next week will be my good week and I have so much planned. I get to see my oncologist for an in-person appointment and I’ll get to finally see the video of my last PET scan. I can’t wait to see what my tumor looks like now and compare the before and after images. I know seeing the proof of my hard work (naps naps and more naps) will only motivate me more to stay positive and push through. Next week I also get to go up to Beverly Hills to the wig store I got my fancy hair from and get a cut and style. I love my hair, but I think it’s a little long - I think I would be more confident wearing it if it was a few inches shorter and more similar to my pre-cancer hairstyle. Next weekend is also my 12th anniversary so Eric and I will get to celebrate that on our next date night before starting round 5. I have to have little things to look forward to - fun little distractions to make this process go by faster. So far I’d say it feels like it’s going by really fast.
Now that I’m so close to being done and as the world is slowly opening back up again I can’t help think about all of the things I want to do and people I want to see when I’m done with all of this. I think I may need to take a trip around the country making stops in Michigan, West Virginia, Pennsylvania, Oregon, Utah, Nevada, Georgia - or maybe we’ll have a big party and invite everyone to come here. I also still think I need a big vacation after this year too. I don’t want to ever miss another opportunity to get out there and live. I can’t wait for the day I get to travel again or go to a real concert or go on another adventure. I don’t ever want to say no to making more memories. We’ve all missed out so much this year because of COVID, maybe this was a good year to get cancer after all.
