Day 127
Sleepless nights, anxious sweating, and nauseous optimism consumed my week, and this time not just because of chemo. In a week filled with numbers and statistics, I thought, why not look at a breakdown of where I am with my treatment.
137 days since the discovery of my tumor
127 days since my cancer diagnosis
113 days since my first day of chemo
6 cycles of REPOCH
30 total days of chemo so far
24 Red Devils
36 total bags of chemo so far
600+ hours of infusion time
3 pumps
50+ blood draws
3 unexpected trips to the ER
1 emergency surgery
1000+ pills
3 COVID tests
1 lumbar puncture
1 bone marrow biopsy
3 CT scans
2 PET Scans
1 MRI
15 days in the hospital so far
15 more days in the hospital over the next 2 months
Tomorrow will conclude what will hopefully be my last round of REPOCH chemo with the pump and it has me feeling all sorts of things. Relief isn’t one of them. I don’t yet feel in the clear and that may be partly because I don’t yet believe it will be my last dance with the Red Devil. The odds are so high that my cancer will return that I just don’t feel confident this is my last go with this fucker. Cancer has stolen so much of my confidence and I’m way too superstitious to jinx it now. I have to be prepared for bad news while still remain hopeful that I can win this fight. I’m sure a lot of us glued to the news this week can relate to that too.
I had a great end to my good week and thoroughly enjoyed Halloween and my date night with Eric leading up to this 6th round and I promise to get back soon to write about it once I’m feeling better and can get in the right head space. For now, I’m focusing on this last night with the pump - fingers crossed it goes smoothly and I can get some relief once I’m disconnected tomorrow afternoon.
